


Futaradia Plays Cave Explorer

by Writefuck



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Futanari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 23:16:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writefuck/pseuds/Writefuck
Summary: [Request] While on a dig, Aradia runs into a dashing rogue!





	Futaradia Plays Cave Explorer

On her latest expedition, Aradia had traveled much farther from home than usual. But archeological adventures knew no range bound, and she wasn't about to let a long trek get in her way. Her exploration had taken her all the way to the sea, a cove hidden somewhere along the vast Alternian coastline. Her target was a rumored pre-industrial battleship, shipwrecked here so many sweeps ago that there was a high chance that it would have rotted away to nothing by now. But the state of the ruins wasn't what made them exciting; it was the thrill of the hunt!

As she picked her way through the cave, Aradia came upon the ruin proper. It was a wreck all right, but in better shape than she had dared to hope. Crucially, the boat was still shaped more or less like a boat. It had a mast! Port holes! A poop deck! Aradia could hardly contain her glee.

As the young explorer picked her way carefully through the surrounding rubble, she was overwhelmed by a sense of age and scale of the thing. The cave was full of the salty stink of sea air, yet the ship itself gave off a strong smell of aged wood and dust, totally overpowering the surrounding atmosphere. Aradia breathed in deeply. It was a warm, comforting smell. Aradia could hardly contain her raging hardon.

She found a suitably stable pile of rocks and rubble near the ship and scampered up them, managing to get a high enough perch to jump onto the deck properly. The whole ship was already tilted at a sideways angle, and she worried for a moment that the wreck might shift underneath her, but nothing moved save some creaking planks. She exhaled a sigh of relief. She hadn’t noticed she had been holding her breath.

Exploring any ruin had a certain order to it, a sequence of events that had to be followed according to tradition. The coolest, most important discoveries would be found in the captain's quarters, so that had to be saved for last. Instead, Aradia found the stairs leading below deck, switching on her trusty flashlight to guide her way through the dim interior.

It became apparent that the ship was full of dead Trolls. Skeletons littered the interior, some lying on the ground, others tangled in decayed ropes or hammocks. Everything here had been dead long enough to decay to clean, yellowed bone. But whatever events had ship had also left it with a full crew on board. The only thing better than a ruin was a tomb, and this shipwreck clearly counted as both. Aradia was overcome with glee, and her ecstatic grin would have been terrifying to look at. Nothing got her motor running like a good tomb.

The tent she was pitching was becoming a hazard down here – with the support beams of the ship and the abundant debris, she was likely to bash cock-first into something. That would certainly ruin the fun and she couldn't have that. Reluctantly she turned around and made her way back to the stairs to the upper deck. She'd take care of herself first, then go back to exploring. Emerging onto the mid-deck she was surprised to find herself face to face with a stranger; an Indigo-blooded Troll, holding a bullwhip and dressed in a brown leather jacket and fedora.

"Woah, who the fu-" began the Troll, before hastily composing himself. "Uh, I mean, hi there! The name's Indian Ajones, archeologist and explorer! What brings a sweet thing like you out to these parts?"

Aradia silently switched off her flashlight, stowing it. She didn't have time for this stranger, there was a ruin to explore! What's more, this was HER discovery! What business did he have being here?

"Get lost," she said. "This wreck is my find."

"Woah, slow down girl, no need to get aggressive!" He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "I've been staking this place out for a couple weeks now, waiting to see if a fine lady like yourself might stop on by. And let me tell you, you are the finest lady I have ever seen in this here cave. You dig?"

"First of all," Aradia said tersely, "I climb around in caves and dig through excavated dirt for fun. I am not 'fine' nor am I a 'lady' by any of your standards. Nevermind the fact that we're from opposite ends of the hemospectrum."

"Hey, hey, don't get yourself all worked up," said the Indigo Troll, placing his hands gently on Aradia's shoulders. "I know you and me are from different worlds, but that doesn't have to matter tonight. Sure, I live in gold and luxury while you have to forage in the mud like an animal, but that doesn't mean that true love can't bridge the gap between us."

"I don't think you're actually paying attention," said Aradia.

"It's a cold dark world out there, honey," continued the Troll, "But play your cards right, and some day you might find a cool, suave daddio to take you away from all this. In fact, you might just be lucky because tonight's the night you met me."

"I came up here to take care of my raging boner, not to meet some dude."

"Tell you what girl, I'll make you a deal. Let's both go back to my place tonight. I've got a fancy speedboat waiting not far outside. We can leave this dark place behind, and let our passions be the real treasure tonight. What do you say?"

There was a long silence as the dashing fool waited for Aradia's response. He seemed to finally pay attention to her for the first time.

"Wait, hang on," he said, his façade cracking slightly. "Your raging whatnow?"

Aradia sighed. "You said you wanna bang?"

"Uh, yeah, in as many words, I guess. Sorry, I've been trying to pick up chicks here for like a month and you're the first person who's heard my big rehearsed speech. What was that about a boner...?"

"I've got a bulge," she said bluntly. "Is that a deal-breaker for you?"

"Uh… well, I was kind of hoping for, uh… I guess, I dunno?"

"Don't be a prude," said Aradia. "A hole is a hole and we all like filling them. And the ambience in here is wonderful. So let's fuck."

"Wait, right here? On this wrecked piece of garbage? Girl, this place is nasty. You gotta be kidding me."

Up until now Aradia regarded the Indigo Troll with only a mild distain. He was a schmuck, but she was okay with that. Except now he had crossed a line. He had insulted this ruin, her find, HER archeological site. In an instant she lifted him telekinetically a foot off the ground. He kicked his feet instinctively, trying to scramble away from the hostile lowblood.

"Hey, what the hell!?" he yelled. "What's holding me? Are you doing that? Put me down!"

"Oh, I'll put you down all right," said Aradia, tearing loose her skirt to reveal her throbbing meat. "I don't know if you actually plunder tombs for fun or if you just pretend to so you can pick up chicks. But tonight, you're going to be the tomb, and I'm going to do the plundering."

The indigo Troll yelped as Aradia tore his pants off with her psychic power. For hours, the cave echoed with the sounds of their archeological expedition, as secret depths were intruded upon, sacred relics were violated, and multiple priceless artifacts were painstakingly excavated.

All in all, it was a good dig.

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)08:12:24 No.3496854  
Aradia indulges her favorite hobby at a local tomb but instead of finding treasure she has a special encounter with a dashing rouge that shares her interest in plundering.  
The question is, what exactly is getting plundered?
> 
> Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)08:25:59 No.3496868  
Ass  
[spoiler]his ass[/spoiler]
> 
> Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)08:50:12 No.3496904  
>Young Aradia uses her Oversized Lambchop to fuck the shit out of some poor schmuck trying to pick up girls in a dungeon because he sorta looks like Indian Jones.  
Yeah that's perfect. That one is fucking free Writefuck. Free!
> 
> Anonymous 09/26/19(Thu)09:31:09 No.3497002  
>Writefuck has to write two versions of the Futa!Aradia story to accommodate /hsg/'s virgin rage.  
Godspeed you beautiful bitch.
> 
> Writefuck 09/27/19(Fri)00:46:24 No.3498803  
Okay so first of all, I'm not writing two versions of the same fic because that's dumb. I left it vague whether Aradia has a tentacle or a regular cock so I'll leave it to you fill it in. I kept this short because I didn't want it to take up like a week of my time. I was aiming for around 1000 words.
> 
> Anonymous 09/27/19(Fri)10:59:07 No.3499566  
>ywn stumble upon maniacally grinning Aradia with an archeological discovery-induced boner who then proceeds to fuck your brains out  
This shouldn't feel this bad, wtf.  
Good job. Would like to see more plundering rather than the premise but welp.
> 
> Writefuck 09/27/19(Fri)12:58:15 No.3499760  
Yeah sorry I don't usually write male/male or futa/male. This is the most you'll get.


End file.
